Mentors

My whole life I've wanted a mentor. For many they can be found in the respectable adults around them - parents, extended family, family friends, regular upstanding folk. I don't know, it just seems that they're there to be found. And yet, I never seemed to find one for me. Sometimes I think about how…

HBD Pappy

My father turned 62 today. We keep telling people he's turning 40 and he rolls his eyes and chuckles almost mirthlessly. Then he makes inappropriate comments about what he'd be doing if he was only turning 40. Then he chuckles mirthfully and we take our turn rolling our eyes and chuckling mirthlessly. I've been realizing…

The Art of the Booty Call

Step One: own a cellphone, preferably a phone with a touch screen, or easily pressed buttons. the glitchier the better. Step Two: place cellphone in your pocket. preferably your back pocket. kudos if you manage it from another pocket. Step Three: move around. sit on it. dance. wiggle. bend over. anything to frustrate your already finicky…

Marriage Proposal?

I have had several marriage proposals in my life - most of which were from small children. Well, the serious proposals were from the kids, the joking proposals were from adults. What's always amused me even more than these proposals is when somebody 'offers' me a husband that isn't them. I've gotten this from girl…

Sam Shovel

Sam Shovel is my father. My father's name is not Sam Shovel. My dad is one of those characters who had a different name in every circle he ran in. I suppose he did this for anonymity's sake, but regardless of the reason, it has always been something I enjoy about him. One of the…

My First Memory

Five o’clock pm of July 26 was the time of my first breath in this world. It was 1991, and we were in northern Idaho. My first memories were not emblazoned upon my mind for years to come. We moved to the east coast when I was two years old, which didn’t leave much to…