Hello old friend,
I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I have missed you dearly. I have always been deplorable at keeping in touch, especially when push comes to shove. And push and shove have come, and left me quite far away from our post office, so writing has gone to shit. I should say that I’m sorry, but truth be told I only feel sorry for myself, because I needed you more than you or I will ever know, and definitely more than anyone else will ever figure out. You have kept me sane and off the brink more times than I can count, and I stand here today to say that I couldn’t have gotten where I am now without you.
But where is that, that I am now?
Well I’m also dropping in to say, that I’m “happy and healthy, and things are going so well.” If you’ll believe me. There is a roof over my head, and food in my cupboard, and pillows and clean sheets on my bed. The cars are running, though dear husband will be tending to them both soon for the tune ups they need. Family is both near and far, but none so near as the small one I call baby who is asleep in the other room. You don’t know her, you simply were told that she was coming, and then no more. There is so much I could say of her and the 4 months I’ve known her. I am grateful that she is sleeping in today. I needed to write to you – for the sanity, you know.
It would be called cheating to tell you any more about my life, because then you’d want me to write more often, and we both know that can’t happen. I’m not your girl anymore, I can’t just come here and scribble away my thoughts to you so openly as I once did. They aren’t mine to share with the wind anymore. But I thought perhaps it would be okay if I said hello, and that I still think of this place quite often, much more often than I should under the circumstances, and I miss it. I miss this place so much it makes me sick.
I hope you all are well, I truly do. I hope your hearts are light but full, and that your lives have gotten even more wonderful since my absence. I hope that you still come here sometimes too, even if I don’t. We shouldn’t all have to leave, after all.
2 thoughts on “I miss this place so much it makes me sick”
And “Hello” to you again. You have been missed although I can, as a parent myself, understand why. You have a beautiful baby and I am so happy that things are good for you. Keep writing when you can, say hello occasionally and keep us updated on your life as parent. In the meantime, enjoy being a parent and take care.
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I’ve missed your always-thoughtful comments and your delightfully humorous way of storytelling. I hope to soon catch up on all the bloggers’ posts I’ve missed while away. Glad you’re still out there writing!