It would probably be fair to start considering “stir crazy” to be my resting state. I’m not saying it’s comfortable, but it’s pretty damn familiar. I am restless and full of anticipation, even when there’s nothing on the horizon. It isn’t the anxious sort of stir crazy, not yet at least, not this time. This is just that endless desire for something more, knocking once again at my door.
What’ll it be?
I’ve had some varied adventures lately – tree climbing and geocaching. Baking and cooking. Mixing old friends and new, or friends and family. I’ve been tweaking my lifestyle bit by bit until I find a way of life that I can call ‘home’. It’s been fun.
I want more.
My sister says we should get tattoos. My other sister thinks I should cut my hair off. My dad tells me, regularly, that if I “knocked off 15lbs” my life would be different. My girl friends tell me I need a boyfriend. My guy friends tell me I’ve already got one. Or two. Or three. My instincts say “take a trip!” but my wallet says “maybe wait like a year or ten.” My peers say “look at all the time you’re wasting,” and my heart says “but isn’t the best yet to come?”
Every part of me says NOW!
Reason says patience. resolve. hard work. patience. restraint. patience. patience.
My heart says but pleeeeaaaaase?!
My brain says but what would we even do??
And no part of me has an answer for that. That’s why I’m here, stir crazy, and quite familiar in it. Welcome back.