mumbling of an imbecile

Oh hey there

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been doing some freelance writing for a couple of groups, and let me tell you – writing bullshit that is formulaic and bland takes ALL the joy out of writing. I haven’t even been able to convince myself to post here because the very idea of writing has turned abhorrent. Who would have ever thought I’d be saying such things? Surely not I!

But writing is one of the most important things in my life – I use it as my anchor when my thoughts cannot stop free floating, and when I need a place to think out loud. I cannot let it be marred permanently by a passing job.

So I’m back and ready to ramble, but I haven’t got much of a subject to speak on, so who knows what I shall write…

A random young man at the library gave me a rose for Valentine’s… I think his name was Tim.

I just acquired a nice quantity of upbeat music which will hopefully serve as fuel for my continuing gym workouts. Which, by the way, have become a nearly daily occurrence. I don’t have an addictive personality, but for some reason, the idea of missing a day at the gym right now would seem shocking – I want to be there every day. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a fairly sedentary being if I’m trapped in my own town, and I prefer not to spend time in public spaces. So going to the gym at the community center has been quite a change for me.

But when I get to run and run and keep running (albeit slowly) or break a sweat lifting weights – it’s intoxicating. So now my music can push me forward too.

I had so many high hopes for making positive life changes, but I find that there just don’t seem to be enough hours in the day to do it all daily. I had started learning the guitar, but then I got a rather painful cut on my left index finger, so for nearly a week I couldn’t form an chords with the bandage on – so that became a major slacking point.

The eating healthily has been relatively successful. (The weigh scale only groans after I step on it, not before like it used to…) And I’m truly feeling better, though the added energy everyone promises is a LIE. And I haven’t been sleeping better either, as the migraines are back, and choose to attack at about 11pm.

The time tracking idea was a good one, though it didn’t last either. I’d figured the best way to track my time was a little app on my smartphone, but it turns out that when you’re busy making life changes, you suddenly forget to do things like use apps on your smartphone… Who’d have thought?

I sound like I’m griping, and that’s probably because, as my mom always told me, I “need to fix my attitude.” Well perhaps there’s truth in that. I should go with the song – ♪♫ Allllways look onnnn, the briiiight siiiiide of life! I think my demeanor would be much improved by that.

So improvements: my time is being better spent than it previously was. At the end of the day I feel that I’ve accomplished more. My diet is healthier by far than it was, and I can feel a difference. My muscles are good-sore at the end of the day. I may even be able to knock something off the 25 to 25 list (on time!) and run a race in the coming months! Now that my finger is healed, I’ll be back at the guitar soon. I’ve been writing, albeit shit, and making pocket change off it.

So I guess in a metaphorical sense I’m sleeping better – with the knowledge that I’m making progress in my life. Cool.

Yikes I’ve rambled on a while now, so I guess before I say more I should stop myself and end the post. But I’ll be back at the auld blog more if I can. You can’t get rid of me that easily!

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