Haters Gonna Hate

Okay, I’m just going to go on a little rant here about how it’s the 28th of November and Christmas music has already been playing publicly for over a week!

For starters, Christmas music is absolutely the most tedious genre of music to exist. It’s the only genre that should absolutely not be played year round. In fact, it should only be played for about a week leading up to Christmas, if you must, and a week following. Maybe a sporadic wintery type song can play for the next month or so of snow on the ground, or a general holiday type song, seeing how New Year follows soon after Christmas, but none of this over-a-month-in-advance shit!

This could turn into a rant about the materialism propagated by starting Christmas themed store displays the day after Halloween or about the mad dash to go Black Friday shopping the day after we supposedly gather together to give thanks for the many things we’ve been blessed with. And that would be a totally fair thing to rant about, in my opinion. But I’m sorry to disappoint. This rant really is just about Christmas music being played so early.

There are about eight carols that are stuck in my head at any given time. Especially since I work in retail and the damn radio station the store uses is literally composed of people being paged, or christmas music playing. Several times a day I’m tempted to start paging random people that don’t exist, just to break the horrible repetition of the ten or so songs which play on repeat each hour.

They’re not very creative, these songs. They mention snow, and warm fuzzy feelings of cheer for one another. Some mention gifts or throw in some reindeer for good measure. Some add an element of romance (because freezing your butt off is just so damn sexy?) Some of them are even archaic enough to mention that the celebration of Christmas (despite its pagan influences) is really about a man who was born over 2k years ago with the intention of redeeming the bad people by dying horribly. But that’s it – that’s all the variation there is in these songs.

And that lack of variation would be okay… if they were only played during Christmas time! But folks, if it was 64 degrees Fahrenheit literally yesterday, and it hasn’t snowed, and you can still see some leaves on the trees and you’re in New Hampshire... IT ISN’T TIME FOR CHRISTMAS MUSIC! It’s time to keep pretending that winter will never curse us with her frosty fingers and that autumn will never leave us to fend for ourselves!

Ahh. Okay, I feel a little better. Let me just go find some good ole classic rock to wash the ridiculousness out of my ears…