the story so far

She’s a Jolly Good Fellow

"Look at meeee I'm a cute babyyyy!" - Philumina
“Look at meeee I’m a cute babyyyy!” – Philumina

Remarkable things have happened on this day in history.

  • In 1493 Christopher Columbus discovered Puerto Rico.
  • In 1545 Pope Paul III opened the council of Trent.
  • In 1863 Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address.
  • In 1969 Apollo 12 touched down on the moon (or so they say).
  • In 1992 Philumina popped outta momma.

Yes, this post is about my sister’s birthday.

Philumina is a pretty spiffy human. (If you’ve lost track, she’s the one who is married and has a kid and is recovering from surgery.) But those things aren’t the things that make her spiffy. She’s smart, she’s clever, she’s sneaky. She’s fairly wise for a now-23-year-old. She’s thoughtful, most of the time, and well-intentioned all of the time. She’s artistic and she thinks she’s funny. She’s a magician in the kitchen, even though she puts onions in things. She’s generous, especially with the contents of sisters’ closets (that’s how that works, right?)

"Stop taking pictures of me buying coffee!" - Philumina
“Stop taking pictures of me buying coffee!” – Philumina

She smells alright and she doesn’t look bad. Actually she looks quite nice. Most of the time. She’s tough as nails. She’s reliable except when you need to be on time for something. She rarely forgets things, unless it’s her wallet with her ID and soc. card and birth cert all in it, and she’s in McDonald’s while passing through Georgia. She’s terrible at hiding things, unless you’re already scared and she’s hiding Benjie in some horrific place. (Move along, the explanation for that one would take too long.)

She’s adventurous and impulsive and daring, and a lot of other greatly fun things. She’s silly, and laughs like a horse sometimes, just for fun.

"They see me rollin', they hatin'!" - Philumina (sort of)
“Life goals complete!” – Philumina

She does really stupid shit, because she can. She’s one of those people who does more than you think she can because it never crossed her mind that she couldn’t do it. She takes on the world every day and it takes a hell of a lot to get her down.

So even though there are the few occasions when she smells really bad because she hasn’t showered in a month, and the times when she thinks she’s frickin hilarious but nothing she says is funny, or the times that her personality is just too big for you both to fit in the same room, and even though her sense of style is a weird mix of preppy and hipster and ‘scene,’ and even though she sometimes grows facial hair… I completely forgot where I was going with this.

Philumina is a most excellent partner in crime, sister blister, funk machine. Yes. The Mina Wina. There’s no one like her. So Happy Birthday, buttmunch.

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