Despite being somewhat of a pessimist at heart, I have always been one to believe that people are inherently and intrinsically good, and that evils happen despite that. In my gloomier teenage years I may have said otherwise, but that was just because nobody showed up for my pity party.
People are good at their core. I think the default is good. But there is so much in our world today that misshapes goodness and distorts it and turns it inside out and makes it ugly and bad. It’s pretty hard to miss.
This is what I try to remind myself when I get really, really, pissed off. Because it takes quite a bit to piss me off. I’m pretty blasé about… well just about anything. But when my temper has been ignited it goes up in flames like as much napalm. It isn’t pretty. I typically recover rather quickly and can’t hold a grudge to save my life, so my little explosions are easily forgotten. But that’s not a good thing entirely.
Just because I am easy going does not make me a carpet to be walked upon. Just because I am forgiving does not make me a carpet to be walked upon. Just because my anger is easily subdued doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind and that you’re right, and it definitely doesn’t mean that I am a carpet to be walked upon.
It’s difficult for me to come out of carpet mode. I understand that in the past I’ve allowed such misuse of my niceness or generosity (and honestly, I’m not tooting my own horn here.) But come on. Do you not understand how much that sucks for me? How much do you enjoy it when you are taken advantage of? You’re lying if you say it doesn’t bother you.
So here’s the thing. Because I think people are good (hopefully including myself) and that this can’t possibly be happening on purpose (benefit of the doubt?) – I’m not gonna get mad. I’m not going to yell or throw a fit. I’m a mature adult (sometimes), and so are you (sometimes). But I’m done with the lying down act. I am not a carpet. Please, kindly, go find yourself some other place to deposit the shit from the bottom of your shoes.
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