mumbling of an imbecile

Only Quitters Quit

I quit smoking cigarettes a week ago. Well, in about 2 hours it will be a full week.

The first couple of days were a struggle. I tend to stress smoke, so when something would happen and I’d need to relax, I didn’t quite know what to do with myself. But after those first couple of days, I stopped getting the urge so much. Now I think about it from time to time and I think, ‘yeah, it would be nice to have just one’ – but I don’t have the actual desire to stop what I’m doing and go for a smoke. I have hardly even thought about cigarettes in the past two days.

Smoking is a nasty habit, I know. More concerning for me, it’s an expensive habit. I first started smoking socially – a group of friends would be smoking and they’d ask me if I wanted one and I usually said no but sometimes I’d say yes. Like if we were playing drinking games on south Florida beaches late at night after a hard week at school. Then one day, I bought my own pack. See, most of my good friends at that time smoked. I’d never felt any pressure to smoke, but I’d started to enjoy it when I did. So I bought some. Six months later whenever I was inordinately stressed, I went for a smoke, but that was still not even every day.

Being home during college summers I didn’t smoke, but when I spent two summers in Europe I started again. I didn’t mind though. My final year of college was when I considered myself a regular smoker. That ended a year ago, and I’ve been a regular smoker this part year as well. Until last week.

Now I’m not a smoker. I mean, how long past quitting can I say that I’m not a smoker? When I no longer entertain the idea at all? Well that’ll be a while then. But if not thinking about smoking for a day or two at a time counts, and resisting when I do think of it, well then I’m not a smoker. I’m quite pleased at how not-addicted I am. I thought this might be harder. But it helps that I’ll allow myself a cigar every month or so. That’s not the same. But I think for now, for safety sake, I will be avoiding anyone holding a cigarette…

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