the story so far

My Sister’s Facial Hair Fiasco of ’15

Let me just start by saying that my sister will kill me if she ever reads this post, so I’m not even sure I’m going to post it. Well – I probably am going to – but if it’s my last post ever, you know why.

My sister, let’s call her P, has always had great hair. I’ve spent 22 years wishing mine were as long, thick, (that’s what she said) and vibrant as hers. Even when she doesn’t do anything to it, it looks downright princess-ly. Yes, I just made up that word for this exact occasion, but that’s besides the point.

Anyway. Another of my numerous sisters was visiting us last week, let’s call her G, and she made just one little comment. Pointing at the side of P’s face she casually inquired, do you ever shave that? P didn’t know what G was talking about, but it soon came to light that G was referring to the very short, very blonde hairs barely visible behind P’s jawline beneath her ear. P was freakin.

Meanwhile, I’m driving down the road, trying to keep my eyes ahead but greatly thwarted in that effort by the laughter that just kept coming.

Somehow we were able to assuage P’s fears by assuring her that it wasn’t very visible, and also that it’s perfectly natural for anybody to have. Seriously. I swear, you can’t even really see it. G just likes it when the universe implodes.

That was at least several days ago. I do not know how it came up again today, between P and her husband. I heard low voices in the kitchen, and looking over, I had a distinct feeling that I needed to know what was being discussed. When I asked, they told me. I guess hubby had just noticed, whether at P’s questioning or not I do not know, and P was saying she thought it was because of the increased testosterone her body is producing because she’s having a baby boy (DID I MENTION IT’S OFFICIALLY A BOY?!) For some reason I felt it necessary to tell her she’d always had it and it had nothing to do with the baby. That was both stupid, and the reason this story is hilarious.

The most perfect moment of all of this happened immediately following. P’s hubby, trying to help the situation, but forgetting to use any kind of calming terminology, blurts out, babe, all women have facial hair, sometimes you just can’t see it.

If you’re a guy reading this you’re probably thinking to yourself ‘wait… what’s funny about that?’ If you’re a girl reading this you’re rolling your eyes, hopefully with a grin on your face.

You should have seen her face! (That’s not a facial hair joke, at. all.) Seriously. The look of shock, surprise, outrage, and amusement, all thrown into one expression – priceless. Hubby didn’t know what he’d done wrong, til I explained. Then he got it, and he started cracking up. They both did. Well, all three of us did. Granted, P was throwing quiet joking little I hate you‘s in between incredulous laughs, but there was laughter just the same.

One day my brother in law will realize that he can’t tell my sister she’s got facial hair, whether it’s true or not.

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