Yesterday I did something that surprised me a little. (I say little because it takes a bit to surprise me.) I was at the grocery store, up at the counter making my purchases, and the lady asked me a question. Without really thinking about it, I straight up lied!
Okay, that’s not really like me. I’m a terrible liar and I don’t like to do it anyway. In my book its reserved for particularly necessary situations, in which case the truth just wouldn’t be acceptable. And that’s rare. Anyway, I just up and lied, simple as breathing.
She’d carded me for smokes and was handing my license back to me, and she noted that it was from Michigan. (I’m in NH.) I’ve been here a few months, fully moved in, but somehow constantly forgetting to get my NH license. Anyway, she asked me if I was just here on vacation. Yes I said. How long? she asked. Oh, just a couple of weeks I answered.
……why?? The conversation continued. It took me a moment to even realize I’d completely pulled my answers out of a hat. What was I doing?
As I walked out to my car I seriously contemplated this recent event. Why had I done this? Thinking back, I realised that before I’d gotten up to the counter I’d been daydreaming in my head for probably an hour – imagining life a different way, being somebody different, being elsewhere. It was as if when I started talking I’d just slipped right into my own daydream, forgetting reality altogether.
Part of me thinks that’s wonderful, to just get inextricably lost in thought. Part of me is a little freaked out, a little worried.
I don’t know which part will be the first to accept what just happened.